2nd date up to the men series#

“I’m sure in his mind, was both giving himself the option to do whatever he felt like hours later, and let himself off the hook if/when he did,” Markowitz says. The problem with not making a firm plan is that it attempts to lower the expectations of the non-relationship to the point the guy isn’t accountable for anything. “Sadly, he probably thought he was doing the right thing! He was telling her he wasn’t committing to it.”īut that’s not the issue. I countered that maybe the man in question was just trying to be honest about his schedule and communicate effectively. You had to wait for them to call you from a pay phone. “In my mentions, there are a lot of women saying: ‘Oh, in the pre-cell phone era, I used to wait at home for a guy to call me from a payphone.’ Can you imagine anything worse than waiting for a payphone call? I imagine there used to be a lot of: ‘Oh, you didn’t see the message I left on your cave wall? Let’s try to hang next week instead!’ Human behavior has always been the same.”īefore cell phones were common, I dated at least 2 guys who didn’t have phones and barely had furniture- not because of money, but because they just didn’t want to be tied down. “I don’t think it’s a millennial man thing at all!” she says. Markowitz graciously agreed to speak with me about the tweet despite my past dating indiscretions, and she rejects the idea this is a generational phenomenon unique to millennial men and the proliferation of casual dating/hookup culture. They still do this but they usually end up being married as well. Someone tell me it gets better in your thirties… “There’s a feeling of ‘We’re all in this together.’” “The coolest thing about the response to the tweet is my friend, the one who received the text message, has found it vindicating and cathartic that so many women have been there themselves, and are outraged on her behalf,” Markowitz tells me. And if the replies to Markowitz’s tweets are any indication, this kind of non-committal plan-making is shockingly common among men. Not making a plan isn’t being actively shitty, but it’s being inconsiderate of a person’s time and feelings, and that’s just rude. And by that I mean I’d meet up with them whenever was most convenient for me.It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I realized the error of my ways.

I was focused on my career and “casually” dating women, which in my mind meant there was never any obligation to make firm plans (let alone follow through on them). It wasn’t that I thought this conduct was fine it’s that I didn’t think about it at all. I am predicting this ends with him not being available but sending a cryptic soundcloud link to a sam smith song three days later

You were one of the flakiest men I’ve ever dated,” she tells me. I briefly dated Markowitz a few years ago, and I’m sure I subjected her to this low-grade shitbaggery when I did. Why? Because I realized I was guilty of the very behavior Markowitz was making fun of. The tweet simultaneously made me laugh and left a vague discomfort in the pit of my digestive tract.

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By midday Sunday, it had generated nearly 10,000 engagements. She dashed off the tweet on Thursday afternoon while grabbing coffee, thinking it might get a few likes and retweets.

2nd date up to the men series#

Markowitz - who co-authored the upcoming book Hey, Ladies!, based off her and Caroline Moss’ popular humor series on The Toast - herself was surprised by the reaction.